Here’s Whom Your Dad Thinks You Should Marry

Today I've attended Barbie and Ken's nuptials, hosted by my 5-year old daughter. If that's any indication of how my baby girl sees her own wedding, there's no way I'm paying for that. Her glitter budget alone will exceed the GDP of a small country. Let that put a dent in the groom's wallet. He'd better be loaded.
And he'd better have his own place, too. I'm not sharing my house with no “struggling artist” or " aspiring entrepreneur” or some other type of deadbeat hipster mooching off my daughter and her folks while he chases pipe dreams. My princess deserves to live in a castle (though a six-bedroom Victorian in the suburbs or a Manhattan penthouse will do in a pinch just as nicely). Future hubby must have high tolerance to pink and purple, too, for that is how my baby decorates.
What else? Oh, he needs to come up short in the looks department. My angel is a stunner, and she'll shine the brightest against a dim background. And he should be smart, one of those lab coat-wearing types that spend twenty hours per day among test tubes or telescopes or in front of computer screens flashing with strings of complex code. This way he'll have neither time nor energy for affairs.
So yes, my pick is a nerd with a burgeoning bank account. Hers? Every father's nightmare: a man who will steal her heart away… I secretly hope she sticks with that choice.