- So. You're a stove. What's cooking?
- Well, I have a couple of things on the back burner. Mostly side dishes.
- A bun in the oven too, I presume?
- I'm not that kind of cooker!
- Wow, you sure heat up fast. All right, let's pick a less explosive topic. How do you avoid burn out?
- First of, I delegate. Smart distribution of tasks is the key to a stress-free working environment.
- Not an easy thing to accomplish with such a diverse team, right?
- Four burners can be a handful, sure, but you've got to know how to ignite them. Put the spark into your relationship!
- Fire safety be damned?
- My thoughts exactly. Next, it's important to recharge throughout the day. Take time to cool off.
- Turn off the heat?
- Yeah, just chill. And last but not least: there will always be people pushing your buttons. Stay strong and don't let them control you.
- Wait, isn't that how your stoves work?
- The moment you surrender control, you crash and burn. I let humans think they're in charge, but honestly, they only jangle the pots, not pull the strings.
- The shadow government of white goods? Now that's a scoop!
- Sharing it would be a recipe for disaster, though.
- How so?
- Catch my drift before you catch heat from me, is all I'm saying.
- Lucky for me, I'm heat-resistant.
- But your plastic pot is not…
Podcast
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Spike Thorny & Electra 2000
Reporting live from a windowsill near you, it’s special correspondent Spike Thorny. Yes, ladies, the “t” is silent… and yes, I am a prick in case the barbs didn’t give you enough of a clue.
This just in: life on the windowsill really puts the “suck” in “succulent.” As an aspiring investigative journalist I am wasting away. So, to stay on point, I am launching a series of exposés, Around the apartment in 80 interviews. And by 80 I mean 18, or something 8-adjacent at best, because unlike other cacti, I have trouble sticking to things.
Follow me as I’m taking jabs at the occupants of this two-bedroom walk-up!
Voiced by Charlie Felter and Cheryl White
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