Once again, winter is coming (this time – already in August), so just in case it’s worth discussing ways to kill yourself.

 Voiced by Jeremy Dirac

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Anyone who's ever lived in our climes, where it's nothing but bleakness, gloom and darkness for nine months a year, has thought about committing suicide at least once in their life. Once again, winter is coming (this time – already in August), so just in case it's worth discussing ways to kill yourself. The most readily available one, of course, is a 9 to 5 corporate job, but we're talking suicide, not torture.
When you're considering ways to off yourself and gunshot to the head is not an option for lack of a gun - slitting your wrists looks tempting. However, the success rate of suicide by wrist cutting is less than 10%. Do it wrong, and it's going to take a while to bleed out. Sitting around waiting will for sure make you change your mind… and turn to pills, maybe? Bear in mind, though, that drug overdose won't give you a quick painless escape either - the odds of a successful drug poisoning suicide are around 40 to 1 against.

Jumping off a tall building is a somewhat more effective way to die - most of the time, that is. There's a good chance you'll survive the impact – but with broken ribs, damaged organs and fractured vertebrae. The method is anything but foolproof.

Think drowning instead. It takes only a few seconds to lose consciousness before the water fills the lungs completely. Carbon monoxide inhalation is quick, too: stick your head in the oven or breathe in car fumes – boom, you're gone in the blink of an eye. Hanging is very effective, - and low-cost, too. All you need is a good rope, and you probably already have that lying around the house somewhere.

My favorite, though, is drinking yourself to death. Sure, there's absolutely no guarantee it will work, but at least you'll have fun in the process!