“So, my DH and I have been NTNP for a year but my HPT is giving me nothing but a BFN. Looking for P&PT, guys!”
If you've just gone “WTF?”, join the club. That's exactly how you feel when you first log in to a pregnancy message board. To go native in this brave new world, you have to adopt the lingo - and, apparently, abandon all sense of self. For here women are defined exclusively by how close they've come to the ultimate goal of (and, incidentally, the only excuse for) their existence - becoming GMs. Nope, not general managers. Not grand masters, either. Glowing Moms. Getting pregnant is an occupation, and a time-consuming one at that, hence the acronyms and abbreviations for everything - to save precious time for BD. That's “baby dancing,” by the way, the arcane ritual into which you turn your sex life when you're TTC (trying to conceive). Also known as SWI ( shagging with intent) or BMS (baby-making sex), it can only happen when you're O (that is, ovulating), requires the use of PUB (sadly, not a drinking establishment but “ pillow under the butt”) and regular intake of RXPNV (which is code for “ prescription prenatal vitamins”).
Confused yet? No worries! Your best mommy lingo interpreters would be EMs (experienced moms) or NPMs (newly pregnant moms). Of course, no one will support you like a CB ( cycle buddy! Apparently, that's a thing!). You can send each other FTs (fertile thoughts), discuss the results after POAS (peeing on a stick), hold impromptu EMCSs (express mode coddling sessions), dish about your OHs (other halves) and lose the last vestiges of sanity together. Because, really, you're going to lose it anyway when your precious hold impromptu first born (sorry, PFB) finally comes into this world.
