Podcast
Tactlessness. None of Your Business
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Tactlessness. None of Your Business

LEVEL 3, 4 |

How to deal with such tactless questions as 'When are you going to get married? Why don't you have a kid? You'll never stick to vegetarianism! You don't want alcohol? Why? Are you Okay?'

 

Voiced by Kirsten Colquhoun

Словарь Ножницы Перевод Значение Замена

None of Your Business

'When are you going to get married? Why don't you have a kid? You'll never stick to vegetarianism! You don't want alcohol? Why? Are you Okay?' These are just a few of the many stupid questions acquaintances or relatives ask me. Tactless people don't care about our feelings. Their aim is to make us feel awkward and miserable.

Many Eastern Europeans have an awful traittactlessness. I'm just an ordinary girl who wants to enjoy life, but every day I'm barraged with tactless questions that make me cry and piss me off.

Let's start with the first example: 'Why are you so skinny?' my friend asks. She's thin (maybe too thin). But she's not anorexic. She's just a petite creature who has a healthy lifestyle. She's completely happy with the way she looks, but most women blurt out 'You are so skinny! When are you going to start eating? But you're just so bony!' And she has to explain herself and the reason why she dares to be so thin every time! Since when is it appropriate to ask these kinds of questions?! Somebody's appearance, hair color, or weight are private and no one's business. Besides, who the hell are those people to express their dissatisfaction with the way anyone else looks. It's not like they're perfect.

Another common one – kids. 'When are you planning on having kids?' It doesn't matter who they are, everyone from family to acquaintances feels the need to ask when you plan on getting pregnant. What makes it even worse, if you finally have a baby, they start asking about a second one a month later! You either lie, ignore the question, or deflect it like you're on trial. Maybe somebody doesn't want to have kids. Maybe somebody had a traumatic experience. Women are the worst in this situation, and they're supposed to be the sympathetic ones! I believe that sticking your nose into somebody else's private life is never okay.

Another dumb question – 'You do know that vegetarianism is unhealthy right?' Imagine a group of young people having a barbecue in the noonday sun. Sausages, steaks, and grilled vegetables sizzle filling the air with a savory aroma. When lunchtime comes, one guy refuses to eat the steaks and sausages, explaining he's a vegetarian. The next moment everyone turns their noses up at him and attack him with questions: 'Do you wear only pleather? Is it because you love animals? Aren't you afraid you'll get sick? You do know that you'll get sick from lack of protein!' He answers every question without a stutter even though they're being condescending and almost yelling at him. He's clearly had to do it before. I know how annoying this is as I've been in this situation more than once. It's unacceptable in our society to differ from the crowd. People refuse to understand. How dare you to be different? Explain yourself!

The most irritating among all these questions is 'When are you going to get married?' What makes this one the worst is that the person who asks knows how stupid and inappropriate this question is, but they do it anyway. Many generations of women grew up having to answer this question. I believe the only way to stop it is to answer it in the same inappropriate way: 'None of your business!' They might recoil and offer a stupid excuse like: 'Why? I was just curious. What are you so angry about?' Don't let it change your mind. You don't have to endure this invasion of privacy any more. Asking stupid tactless questions like that may hurt somebody's feelings, cause a depression, and in some cases suicide. That's why I felt the need to speak on the tactlessness of people. They believe they have the right to pry into our private lives without permission. There can be no excuse for this kind of behavior. People, stop being selfish and put yourself in someone else's shoes. Learn to be more sensitive!


Vocabulary:

  • acquaintances
  • awkward
  • miserable
  • awful trait
  • piss me off
  • skinny
  • petite
  • explain herself
  • dares to be so thin
  • appropriate
  • traumatic experience
  • attack him with questions
  • pleather
  • annoying
  • knows
  • to pry into
  • private lives