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Relationships
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Relationships

Who said that for a healthy relationship there must be a man and a woman?

Relationships can be different. 

 

Written and voiced by Krystyna Kovalenko

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Relationships

Who said that for a healthy relationship there must be a man and a woman? Don't worry, I'm not going to lecture you here on gay romance which is so popular nowadays. Instead I'd like to light you into the intimacy of my relations with languages.

My mom forced me into learning English when I was just 4. My first reaction was nothing but loathe and hatred. No love at first sight, no affection. There was however another thing that made our connection last till now. Passion… All the hatred there was between us combined with passion turned a small sparkle into life-long fire. English is my perfect lover, the hottest, the most passionate and tender. Our heartbeats follow the same tune; we breathe in and out simultaneously, finish each other's sentences…but can never actually be together. We adore each other too much to ruin what we have with marriage. He has never proposed and I have never expected him to. Things are good enough just the way they are.

Another love affair of mine was also provoked by my beloved parents. Meet my romantic and charming husband Monsier Français. We met when I was in my teens, fell in love and started dating. Not long after that he proposed in his authentic French way. It was a proposal not to be denied and that's how we got married. He admired me and I was just a good wife: loving, obedient, attentive. I was occasionally cheating with my English as our love affair was in a constant motion. As I turned 16 though and had a new stage starting in my life we realized it was time for us to get separated. Our relationship didn't work. There was no passion just a very firm attachment. We have never got divorced. We still talk every now and then, I do most of the listening though. We have nevertheless stayed good friends and I believe I will always be able to understand him whenever he needs me.

With all the love affairs and heat-breaking troubles I always need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to spread the gossip to. German – my most faithful friend – is always eager to listen. I am however not always eager to share which is absolutely fine with him. The beauty of this connection lies in its total balance. A pure cocktail of reasonable advice and a wild all-night-long party. German is a very good metaphorical representation of the people in my life I call friends. I won't here refer to friendship in general, in its universal understanding but rather to the way it works in my life. There are many people who at this or that point were more than just friends but for some reason we have drifted away. The feeling of warm affection and the sweet memories we've once shared are always there in my heart.

You are probably taken aback by the fact that all those relationships are with foreigners and not a single word was said about natives - Russian or Ukrainian. Those guys are my nearest and dearest – family. They say you cannot choose your parents you are born to or family you are brought up in. The same applies to mother tongues. The first time we hear the language when we are still toddlers we are already predestined to live with it till the moment we die. Russian is my mother tongue and therefore I've always treated him the way a child treats his mother. No matter how many other languages I speak Russian is the one who always welcomes me home whenever I sneak out. I would however refer to Ukrainian as to a step dad. I can totally stand him, even somehow love, we can hang out together occasionally but will unfortunately never be blood-related relatives.

These relationships that I have with English, Russian, Ukrainian, French and German are unique. I am very grateful I have them in my life as they make me who I am now, and above all they make me happy.