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Buyers Beware
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Buyers Beware

Is it difficult for you to write a letter of complaint? After our podcast it won’t be a problem any more!

 

Voiced by Bob Cohen

Словарь Ножницы Перевод Значение Замена

Dear Sir/Madam,

            I'd like to complain about the “ scary zombie werewolf” Halloween costume I ordered through your website, www.weirdgeekstuff.com. I submitted my order on October 15, 2016, which left ample time for the order's processing and delivery. Yet, the item arrived four weeks later than the estimated delivery date specified at the checkout. Which means I had to go to my friend Billy's Halloween bash in my back-upscary zombie leprechaun” costume, which is so last season that even Billy's mom picked up on it. But it gets worse. Not only did my werewolf costume fail to be delivered, it also failed to deliver. It just wasn't scary.

            Therefore, I am asking you to pay me non-pecuniary damages. The “Terms and Conditions” section on your website, which I've read through and through, states that you don't reimburse your customers for the emotional distress inflicted by a perceived or apparent discrepancy between the delivered item and its photo. However, there is no mention of a zero refund policy in case of dissatisfaction with the purchased goods' effect on others, or rather lack thereof. The costume's description on your website aroused certain expectations which the actual outfit didn't meet in the slightest. None of my friends got goosebumps or had their hair stand on end upon seeing me as a “ scary zombie werewolf” as you said they would. None of them even noticed I was wearing the costume!

            I'd like a full refund, please, including the cost of delivery.

Yours sincerely,
Russel Hasselband